1 00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:16,325 Uh, and you have coffee with the ship's imam at 10. 2 00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:18,661 Then the cleaning crew want to gift you 3 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:21,038 - with some new pillows. - Excellent. 4 00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:23,683 My memory foam ones have developed dementia. 5 00:00:24,108 --> 00:00:27,420 Uh, then the Avenue 5 Brass Band want to play for you, 6 00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:31,006 - and then gift you a tuba. - Can we un-gift it? 7 00:00:31,030 --> 00:00:33,801 - Fly safe. - Fly true, Supreme Commander! 8 00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:38,181 Yes. Heil me. Supreme Commander. What if I get used to this? 9 00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:39,765 Respectfully, you should. 10 00:00:40,023 --> 00:00:41,976 Striding about like a Dutch hairdresser 11 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,478 who killed someone once. 12 00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:45,146 Um, at noon, could you officially 13 00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:46,564 open the ship's Cuddle Club? 14 00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:48,357 - Cuddle Club? - Mm, yeah, a group of passengers 15 00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:50,192 have put it together as some sort of group therapy. 16 00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:51,736 - Sit down. - It's totally non-sexual. 17 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,258 And totally non-normal. 18 00:00:53,282 --> 00:00:54,283 For goodness' sake. 19 00:00:54,307 --> 00:00:56,866 What's wrong with a good old-fashioned frosty handshake? 20 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,869 Look at Iris suffocating him like a horny praying mantis. 21 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,038 Yeah, Ryan could do a shit right now 22 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,372 and all these passengers would line up 23 00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:04,832 to take a selfie with it. 24 00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:06,104 And at one o'clock, 25 00:01:06,128 --> 00:01:07,752 you're meeting with Theater Action. 26 00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:09,670 Can we un-action that? 27 00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:11,380 Actually, un-theater it, preferably. 28 00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:13,591 - Fuck you, Supreme Commander. - Fly true, Supreme Commander. 29 00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:16,034 How did we end up with him in charge twice? 30 00:01:16,058 --> 00:01:17,095 Tell me about it. 31 00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:19,288 He is not worthy of your ship. 32 00:01:21,038 --> 00:01:23,642 I don't know why, but I find you very interesting right now. 33 00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:25,919 - Hmm. - You speak from the heart. 34 00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:33,027 I hate to be the bearer of bad news. 35 00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:34,570 And I hate hearing it. 36 00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:36,280 Feels like there's a solution in there somewhere. 37 00:01:36,304 --> 00:01:38,408 - Commander. - Well, rumors are... Hi. 38 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:42,119 Rumors are spreading that the water is contaminated. 39 00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:46,290 You see, this is why people should never, ever talk. 40 00:01:46,314 --> 00:01:49,210 Mm, agreed, but conversation is inevitable. 41 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:52,087 Which is why I'd like to install some operatives. 42 00:01:52,111 --> 00:01:54,966 What do you mean, operatives? You mean secret police? 43 00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:56,801 I hesitate to use the term "secret police." 44 00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:58,594 Well, you didn't hesitate very long. 45 00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:00,805 - Matt is... - Highly problematic. 46 00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:03,849 No, no. We are not having secret police. 47 00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:05,351 That is my final decision. 48 00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:08,229 Decree. But fine, I won't appoint any. 49 00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:10,272 You say that, Iris, but will you? 50 00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,066 Soon we'll be at each other's throats. 51 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:13,442 - Do you want that? - No! 52 00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:15,737 When brother fights brother 53 00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:18,543 for the moisture that he's wrung from a hand towel, 54 00:02:19,055 --> 00:02:21,158 will Lyin' Ryan be there to save you? 55 00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:22,993 - No! - No, he won't, 56 00:02:23,017 --> 00:02:25,621 but we'll be there, because we've got ammo. 57 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,165 - We've got camo. - Yes! 58 00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:30,251 - We are ready to go... - Blammo! 59 00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:32,736 Blammo! 60 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,590 Oh, what is this intoxicating clarity? 61 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:39,093 Yeah! 62 00:02:44,190 --> 00:02:48,190 00:06:10,592 Oh, no... no. I just... 140 00:06:10,616 --> 00:06:12,139 You know, I'm not... I'm not very good at this... 141 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:13,807 - Talking? - Improvisation. 142 00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:16,894 You have to be with Judd when he talks to Lucas. 143 00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:18,979 Well, yes, yes, and we'd be getting into that 144 00:06:19,003 --> 00:06:20,940 if you hadn't just sent him out the room. 145 00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,234 Well, I did that 146 00:06:22,258 --> 00:06:24,735 because you called me Captain Cockrag. 147 00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:25,945 Well, was I wrong? 148 00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:27,738 I don't know. I don't know what a cockrag is. 149 00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,907 Just be there when he talks to Lucas. 150 00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:32,267 Yes, I will be. I have his ear. 151 00:06:32,391 --> 00:06:33,494 Fuck his ear. 152 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:34,703 It's his mouth you need to control. 153 00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:43,712 If Ryan is king, I'm Oliver Cromwell, right? 154 00:06:44,695 --> 00:06:46,632 If he's Gladstone, I'm Disraeli. 155 00:06:47,698 --> 00:06:50,219 If he's A.S. Byatt, I'm Margaret Drabble! 156 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,638 Compare things we know! 157 00:06:51,662 --> 00:06:53,221 Eh, never been a big sports fan. 158 00:06:53,245 --> 00:06:54,432 Well, they're not sports stars. 159 00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:57,167 They're sister novelists who feuded like rappers. 160 00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:59,608 I'm still without a frame of reference. 161 00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:03,774 Ryan's an asshole, right? 162 00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:06,276 Remember, you may pat and caress 163 00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:08,237 all non-erogenous zones. 164 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,948 At this point, my entire body is non-erogenous. 165 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:12,241 I can confirm that. 166 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,910 Okay, cuddlers, find a new cuddlee. 167 00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:17,663 Uh, oh, man, this is Cuddle Club. 168 00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:19,039 How many more times? No crossbows. 169 00:07:19,063 --> 00:07:20,707 Doug, we booked this room for combat training. 170 00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,710 Hard cheese, Combat Mary, we've got an extended booking. 171 00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:26,004 Oh, I'll extend your face with my extended arm. 172 00:07:26,028 --> 00:07:27,673 - No, we... - Ah. 173 00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:28,966 Captain in the hug zone. 174 00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:31,927 Fly true, Supreme Commander. 175 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,053 At ease, everyone. 176 00:07:33,077 --> 00:07:35,347 Uh, don't listen to him. More tense, everyone. 177 00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:36,974 Someone needs to go to Manners Club. 178 00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:38,475 Yeah, I... I went to Manners Club. 179 00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:41,228 That's where I learned, "Please and fuck you." 180 00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:45,941 Well, this... this is wonderful, seeing you all clumped together 181 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,068 like wet sugar. 182 00:07:48,092 --> 00:07:52,364 It reminds us that... that togetherness is way forwardness. 183 00:07:52,388 --> 00:07:53,949 Wise words, Supreme Dipshit. 184 00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:56,743 Matt, will you stop it? This... this is serious. 185 00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:58,060 This is Cuddle Club. 186 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,682 In fact, I think Matt could do with a cuddle, 187 00:08:01,706 --> 00:08:03,397 don't you think? He should be the first. 188 00:08:03,421 --> 00:08:05,711 I hereby declare this club open. 189 00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:12,593 If Matt's gonna keep cutting me off 190 00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,929 at the ankles, someone needs to do something about him. 191 00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:15,971 Okay, everyone. 192 00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:18,349 Continue your therapeutic manhandling. 193 00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:20,434 Hi. I don't think we've previously cuddled. 194 00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:24,605 - Oh, double cuddle. Okay. - Triple cuddle. Wow. 195 00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:34,305 Looking at you, I can smell your pain. 196 00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:36,599 But can you smell my heart? 197 00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,330 I'm sorry, I'm not feeling this at all. 198 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,497 Why? What's wrong? 199 00:08:42,521 --> 00:08:44,208 Well, it's just not erotic, is it? 200 00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:45,667 I mean, can we get him shirtless? 201 00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:48,629 Could somebody unwrap him? Anybody, just unwrap him. 202 00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:50,392 Look, I'm not a piece of meat. 203 00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,616 - No, honestly, you are. - For fuck's sake. 204 00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,660 And can we get rid of this fucking box? 205 00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:58,037 Keep the box. 206 00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:05,520 - My king. - My queen. 207 00:09:05,544 --> 00:09:07,356 Plus one. 208 00:09:07,683 --> 00:09:10,025 Yes, yes, hadn't forgotten about you, Charles. 209 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,151 What are you, actually? 210 00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:14,780 Uh, partner's partner. So that's... "quartner"? 211 00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:16,531 Anyway, we're all people. 212 00:09:16,555 --> 00:09:17,866 Quite a lot of people, aren't we, 213 00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:20,035 when you think about it. I... I just wonder if this 214 00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,246 whole situation could do with some clarifying. 215 00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:23,433 Captain Ryan. 216 00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:26,750 Sorry to interrupt your ménage, but I thought you should know 217 00:09:26,774 --> 00:09:29,253 Matt has been hurt at Cuddle Club. 218 00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:30,587 How do you get hurt 219 00:09:30,611 --> 00:09:33,215 in a club exclusively devoted to cuddling? 220 00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,841 You told people to deal with him, 221 00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:36,969 so he got violently compressed. 222 00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:39,346 Well, just find the culprits and have a word with them. 223 00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:41,974 Uh, no, that sounds like code for violence too. 224 00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:43,767 All right, well, I better go and... 225 00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:45,376 ...pay Matt a special visit. 226 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,980 Hey, I've done it again. I've got Mafia Tourette's. 227 00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:49,130 To be continued. 228 00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:55,153 Imagine if we got, like, five million grams of lithium 229 00:09:55,177 --> 00:09:56,738 and we saved Earth. 230 00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:59,908 And they made us gods, obviously. 231 00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:03,453 So that people would say, "Judd help us all," 232 00:10:03,477 --> 00:10:06,373 or, "For Judd's sake, tidy up your room, Christopher. 233 00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:08,375 I'm not gonna ask you again. 234 00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,294 Daddy's gonna beat the Judd out of you." 235 00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:12,296 What are you doing down here, Mr. Judd? 236 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,922 Oh, I um, I forgot the password 237 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,007 for my panic room, 238 00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:16,466 so I figured this might make a good backup. 239 00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:18,802 Have you set a time to speak to Lucas yet? 240 00:10:18,826 --> 00:10:23,056 Hmm? Oh, yeah, 9:00 tonight. And what if they built, like, 241 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,935 a fuck-off gold statue of me? 242 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,102 Yeah, that'd be cool. So, nine o'clock tonight? 243 00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:30,713 And I lived in the statue 244 00:10:30,738 --> 00:10:34,677 and my bedroom was in the eye of the gold statue. 245 00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:38,280 Right, with a spiral staircase going all the way up the spine. 246 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,240 Why are you getting into this, Billie? 247 00:10:40,264 --> 00:10:42,075 So um, are you sure that Lucas 248 00:10:42,099 --> 00:10:44,161 is actually gonna negotiate with you tonight? 249 00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:45,454 Oh, absolutely. 250 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:48,749 Great, because I was really just wondering if I could sit in 251 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:52,277 and I could learn from your... 252 00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:55,547 - ...mastery. - You can be my penumbra. 253 00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:57,133 'Cause that's what penumbra means. 254 00:10:58,032 --> 00:10:59,363 I'd love that. 255 00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:02,846 Matt pushed your reputation 256 00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:04,681 face down in a cow pat in Cuddle Club. 257 00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:06,308 Oh, he was just letting off steam. 258 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:07,726 Well, steam burns. 259 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:10,354 Steam is an enemy to flesh and creases. 260 00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:12,522 Do we have to have this on everywhere? 261 00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:14,691 It's like watching your own colonoscopy. 262 00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:17,193 People are having cosplay viewing parties. 263 00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:19,696 Oh, you should host one. You're already in the costume. 264 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,489 I'd rather host my own immolation. 265 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:22,740 You'd look friendly. 266 00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:25,326 Uncle Ryan Clark, never mind the gulags. 267 00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:30,791 - Navigation is down. - We may die out here. 268 00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:33,860 That's fine. I never lived before I met you. 269 00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:35,712 Well, they can't write women. 270 00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:39,508 I'm sorry, Captain Ryan. 271 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:42,176 We need you to be a hero one more time. 272 00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:44,262 That is some shaky dialogue. 273 00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:46,390 Dialogue fell out of the back of a dog. 274 00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:47,682 Activate, goddammit! 275 00:11:51,168 --> 00:11:53,212 Even her thumb is stupid. 276 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,190 Do you want me to get rid of her? 277 00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:57,383 'Cause I can do that, apparently. 278 00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:00,053 Uh, it was a joke. No, no, it was a joke. 279 00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:01,846 Zara? 280 00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:04,480 Zara, you here? 281 00:12:05,018 --> 00:12:08,477 Zara? What is she...? 282 00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:12,416 - Oh, hi. Uh-huh. - Oh. Hey. 283 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,292 Why have you called me here after wrap? 284 00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:15,860 Did you want to run lines, or... 285 00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:17,712 Well, actually, 286 00:12:17,736 --> 00:12:19,256 I'd quite like to block the spacewalk, 287 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:22,008 because it's a very technically demanding scene for me. 288 00:12:22,032 --> 00:12:24,052 Look, it's... it's just another kiss, 289 00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:26,012 - all right? - It's not just a kiss. 290 00:12:26,036 --> 00:12:27,067 Not with me. 291 00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:30,100 - Oh, God, I completely forgot. - Mm? 292 00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:32,060 You're reenacting your own sister's tragic death 293 00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:33,353 - by airlock. - Yeah. 294 00:12:33,377 --> 00:12:36,565 Good for you. I mean, awful. Also, absolute award bait. 295 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:40,235 Yeah. I was thinking about making it quite moving. 296 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:42,404 Because in reality... I mean, all she did really 297 00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:43,989 was just step back like... 298 00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:46,199 Fuck! 299 00:12:46,223 --> 00:12:47,766 Oh, shit. 300 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,165 Zara? You okay? 301 00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:57,836 Djopi Downer for you. TV favorite Zara 302 00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:00,988 is now too dead to play her dead sister. 303 00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:03,049 Let's all miss her. 304 00:13:05,409 --> 00:13:06,845 It's Zara's universe, 305 00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:09,598 and we're all just living in it. Except her. 306 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,308 I named my dog Zara, 307 00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:12,559 so now I have to kill it. 308 00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:13,768 I want her hair. 309 00:13:13,792 --> 00:13:16,188 Now she's dead she doesn't need it. LOL. 310 00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:19,608 I hope she prepaid for her funeral. My mom didn't. 311 00:13:19,881 --> 00:13:22,800 I once saw her in a restaurant eating a fish. 312 00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:24,905 Got no words. 313 00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,568 Shouldn't have sent this message. 314 00:13:27,836 --> 00:13:30,076 She's explaining science to the angels now. 315 00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:31,786 Oh, God. Can we kill that? 316 00:13:32,060 --> 00:13:33,371 Sick of looking at it. 317 00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:34,530 Turn it off, turn it off! 318 00:13:34,555 --> 00:13:35,949 She was killed by a fatal floor. 319 00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:37,839 Sweet relief. Am I right? 320 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,662 Feel better, Matt. 321 00:13:41,255 --> 00:13:43,280 Oh, no. He's come to finish the job! 322 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:50,053 Oh, Matt, I am beyond sorry. 323 00:13:50,470 --> 00:13:53,087 Well, I'm not beyond sorry. I'm still in sorry. But... 324 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:54,976 the far end of it, I'm... 325 00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:59,216 - You ordered me squeezed. - No, didn't. Wouldn't. Couldn't. 326 00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:01,132 - Thank you. - Yeah. Right. 327 00:14:01,157 --> 00:14:02,951 - What? - Look at me. 328 00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:06,530 I'm a dissident. Wounded in a... a turf war. 329 00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:09,282 A blood feud. I'm like that haughty bitch 330 00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:11,100 who tried to fuck up A.S. Byatt. 331 00:14:11,349 --> 00:14:13,911 - You mean Margaret Drabble? - You're a Drabbler? 332 00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:15,997 You love Madge-Drabs? 333 00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:20,544 Super fan. Dark Flood Rises... it's one of my favorite books. 334 00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:22,754 I lost my virginity to the audiobook. 335 00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:25,131 - I love knowing that. - I can't believe that 336 00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:27,008 all this time we had this special bond 337 00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:28,718 and we didn't even know about it. 338 00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:30,303 I mean, it's like we're two princesses 339 00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:33,247 and neither one of us can sleep on a hard pea. 340 00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:36,005 How much have they got you on? 341 00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:38,721 Whoa, that is quite a lot. Yeah. 342 00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:41,606 Well, look, Matt, it's... 343 00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:44,733 Why don't we just put all this shitty hurt behind us? 344 00:14:45,258 --> 00:14:46,527 I would like that, sister. 345 00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:50,573 All right, mandatory smiles, everyone. Smile right now. 346 00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:53,517 - Smile. Hold these. - Matt, 347 00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:54,953 handshake. 348 00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:58,540 I promise you, no... no electric shocks, 349 00:14:58,564 --> 00:14:59,982 no neural toxins. 350 00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:02,778 Well... 351 00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:08,592 - Oh. - Oh. 352 00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:12,053 - Ah... ah... - Oh, motherfucker. 353 00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:13,847 Somebody put these in water. 354 00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:16,016 - They're plastic. - Fuck. 355 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,685 It was Ryan! 356 00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:21,104 No, no, no, that wasn't me. That was... that... 357 00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:24,357 The crossbow killer's right there! 358 00:15:24,381 --> 00:15:26,342 That's not a killer. 359 00:15:26,367 --> 00:15:27,594 Matt's not dead. 360 00:15:27,676 --> 00:15:29,904 Somebody do something. We should take him to a hosp... 361 00:15:29,928 --> 00:15:31,013 Oh, no, no, we're already there. 362 00:15:31,038 --> 00:15:32,824 It's a crossbow on a spaceship. 363 00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:35,869 It always happens. Here, I... I've got you. 364 00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:37,454 - Spike, this hurts... - Here we go... 365 00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:39,247 ...as much as it looks like it hurts! 366 00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:41,374 Oh, I remember, you don't pull it. 367 00:15:41,398 --> 00:15:42,971 You push it through to the other side. 368 00:15:42,996 --> 00:15:45,211 - Okay. - It's gonna sting a little. 369 00:15:49,156 --> 00:15:51,009 Thought you were in charge of security. 370 00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:53,928 How could you allow a drive-by crossbowing? 371 00:15:53,952 --> 00:15:57,057 You said you wanted to "organize something" for him. 372 00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:59,240 Yes, organize a... a gathering. 373 00:15:59,265 --> 00:16:02,395 A celebration with a big "sorry we crossed you" card. 374 00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,564 Uh, not super urgent, but, um... 375 00:16:04,588 --> 00:16:06,358 See, this is how it goes with autocracies. 376 00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:08,109 It starts out, and it's all caviar 377 00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:09,778 and wiping your ass on a swan's neck, 378 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:12,280 and then pretty soon, you're perforating dissidents. 379 00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:13,782 - Yes, what is it? - We're not gonna cancel 380 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:16,159 the TV Avenue 5 viewing party, are we? 381 00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:19,579 Uh... No, I'll go and I'll cheer the passengers up 382 00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:21,456 with the lithium news, and they can wash it down 383 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,249 with a complimentary glass of eel juice. 384 00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:25,293 Yes, it'll be fun. Lithi-fun. 385 00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:27,836 Okay, well, uh, you won't regret this. 386 00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:32,467 You will. But it's done. I've issued a ship-wide dictum. 387 00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:35,011 No passengers to dress up as you out of respect. 388 00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:37,681 No! You see, Iris, these are the actions 389 00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:38,890 of a dictator. 390 00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:40,820 People can come dressed as me if they like. 391 00:16:40,845 --> 00:16:43,264 I... I want you to make that very clear. 392 00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:45,146 I might even go casual, 393 00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:46,814 certainly make me more approachable. 394 00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:48,775 Although if anyone approaches me, stop them. 395 00:16:49,925 --> 00:16:51,861 If you want a good time tonight 396 00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:53,738 at the fun viewing party, by all means, 397 00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:55,198 dress as Commander Ryan. 398 00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:58,493 That's all passengers as Commander Ryan. 399 00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:02,931 Honey, it's out of my control. 400 00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:04,912 It's Captain's orders. 401 00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:08,193 And God only knows what you're capable of. 402 00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:12,779 He. What... What he's capable of. 403 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:17,637 Is it hot in here? I feel hot. 404 00:17:17,661 --> 00:17:21,725 - I just don't feel comfortable. - Well, good. Use that. 405 00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:24,018 It'll help you feel more British. 406 00:17:24,042 --> 00:17:27,188 You know? Just imagine from the age of three 407 00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:29,858 that you only saw your parents at Christmas, 408 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:32,266 and that you have teeth like Stonehenge. 409 00:17:32,676 --> 00:17:34,404 'Ello, darlin'! 410 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,114 Show us your Beefeater. 411 00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:38,700 Oh, okay, no. Just, no. 412 00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:41,953 If you can't talk British, just stay silent. 413 00:17:42,077 --> 00:17:45,122 Like the people they subjugated. Let's just... 414 00:17:46,367 --> 00:17:49,002 fix those epaulettes. 415 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:55,341 Can I apologize again for both trying to pull out 416 00:17:55,365 --> 00:17:58,136 and then push further back in the crossbow bolt? 417 00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,555 I was in over my head. 418 00:17:59,580 --> 00:18:00,975 Everyone's favorite target! 419 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,305 Bullseye dude! How do you feel? 420 00:18:03,330 --> 00:18:05,225 Well, they ran out of painkillers, 421 00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:07,562 so I'm in horrendous pain. 422 00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:09,993 Right, right. But remember, pain is all... 423 00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:13,300 Think beyond the pain. People love you now. 424 00:18:13,368 --> 00:18:15,236 Like, maybe that crossbow was fired 425 00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:18,239 by a kind of Nordic god of public relations. 426 00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:21,242 - What? - It was me. I shot you. 427 00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:24,325 You shot him, you goddamn Euromaniac? 428 00:18:24,350 --> 00:18:25,625 - What? To help him. - Wha... 429 00:18:25,650 --> 00:18:28,291 He's charismatic now. He's got a big following. 430 00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:31,544 - You shot me for the numbers? - What's wrong with pamphlets? 431 00:18:31,568 --> 00:18:34,380 Also, the Cuddle Club? I gave the signal to initiate 432 00:18:34,404 --> 00:18:35,755 the terminal cuddle. 433 00:18:35,780 --> 00:18:37,717 Oh, you John Wilkes Booth motherfucker. 434 00:18:37,741 --> 00:18:39,093 People hated your guts 435 00:18:39,117 --> 00:18:41,054 until I shot a crossbow into them. 436 00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:43,515 You should thank me. You should kiss my asshole. 437 00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:46,037 - I'm a genius, actually. - You're crazy. 438 00:18:46,571 --> 00:18:47,840 Oh! 439 00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:49,062 Oh boy. 440 00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:51,022 Oh. Uh, you know, I can't take grapes in here, 441 00:18:51,046 --> 00:18:52,190 but a crossbow is fine. 442 00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:55,485 I may be crazy, but you are a disappointment. 443 00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:57,612 First Judd, now you. 444 00:18:57,636 --> 00:18:59,656 Everyone I follow becomes weak. 445 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,283 Listen, I was going to shoot you again, 446 00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:05,394 but I'm not going to. You don't deserve my bolts. 447 00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:06,728 Phony! 448 00:19:09,606 --> 00:19:10,716 Okay. 449 00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:13,586 Couple of red flags there, behavior-wise. 450 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:17,490 Here you go, sir. 451 00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:22,578 He's here! Ryan's here! 452 00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:26,920 Fly true, Supreme Commander! 453 00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:28,768 Oh, Christ. 454 00:19:29,533 --> 00:19:31,104 It's a gangbang of doppelgängers. 455 00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:33,523 No, look, there's a TV Judd and Doug. 456 00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:36,485 Uh, sorry, we didn't mean to disrespect you, sir. 457 00:19:36,510 --> 00:19:38,319 We liked you the first time you were a Captain. 458 00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:40,525 Yeah, that's why we voted for you the second time. 459 00:19:40,550 --> 00:19:42,323 Oh, no, no, you voted for Nathan. 460 00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:44,284 Uh, only in the ballot sense. 461 00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:45,994 In... in my heart, I voted for you. 462 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,996 Also, in my heart, I am dressed as you. 463 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,163 And I thought it was Halloween. 464 00:19:49,187 --> 00:19:50,874 I thought it was like a Halloween situation, 465 00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:54,294 so I came as Iris, 'cause she's a monster. 466 00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:56,045 Please don't shoot me like you did Matt. 467 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:59,799 I didn't shoot Matt. No, I like Matt. 468 00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:01,909 I don't like Matt. I respect... 469 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,430 Well, I wouldn't hurt him. I would not hurt Matt. 470 00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:07,682 No, he got someone else to do it for him. 471 00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:10,101 No, I did not! 472 00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:11,728 Look, I'm not gonna murder anyone. 473 00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:13,980 I couldn't give two shits for murder. 474 00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:15,210 He doesn't care 475 00:20:15,235 --> 00:20:16,754 that someone tried to murder Matt. 476 00:20:16,779 --> 00:20:18,145 And Zara! 477 00:20:18,170 --> 00:20:19,652 Watch your backs, heathens. 478 00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:21,094 Crucifix coming through. 479 00:20:22,390 --> 00:20:23,919 Oh, Christ. 480 00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:27,669 - Actually, literally. - I am Ryan, King of the Eels. 481 00:20:28,018 --> 00:20:30,830 Forgive me for I know not what the fuck I do. 482 00:20:30,940 --> 00:20:32,957 Oh, hello. I'm Matt 483 00:20:33,020 --> 00:20:35,705 and I'd rather be in pain than in power. 484 00:20:35,730 --> 00:20:39,172 Look, everyone, can we just smile and laugh? 485 00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:40,298 This is a party. 486 00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:43,135 We're gonna have fun, even if it kills us. 487 00:20:44,701 --> 00:20:47,013 - We're having fun! - This is so much fun. 488 00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:48,620 Can't believe everyone's scared of me. 489 00:20:48,870 --> 00:20:50,830 Congratulations. Feels good, right? 490 00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:54,065 Did Judd pay you to do this? 491 00:20:54,090 --> 00:20:56,189 No, I thought I'd wear an outfit that you'd like to get me out of 492 00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:57,190 as quickly as possible. 493 00:20:57,214 --> 00:20:59,734 - Ugh. - And I have no imagination, 494 00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:02,153 so I copied her. Don't shoot me. 495 00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:04,739 Ryan. Ryan. 496 00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:06,699 Thank you, Captain Buzzkill. 497 00:21:06,723 --> 00:21:09,118 I'm portraying Ryan in his truest form. 498 00:21:09,142 --> 00:21:10,495 Carrying all of our sins 499 00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:11,829 while dressed like a weekend gigolo. 500 00:21:11,853 --> 00:21:14,040 Well, like the Bible, you're upsetting a lot of people, 501 00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:16,292 so just dial it down tonally. 502 00:21:16,487 --> 00:21:19,754 Something about that uniform turns him into a big cat. 503 00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:21,381 - I don't see it. - Really? 504 00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:23,907 I mean, look at those cuffs. Mm. 505 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:29,013 Wow, a little more of this uh, lady gravy, 506 00:21:29,037 --> 00:21:31,665 and we might just break our eight-year drought. 507 00:21:35,210 --> 00:21:36,896 I want to show her I don't need her. 508 00:21:37,090 --> 00:21:39,460 You know, I can be Judd and Iris. 509 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,151 Yeah. I spent ages on my Sarah costume 510 00:21:42,175 --> 00:21:43,319 and then she died, 511 00:21:43,343 --> 00:21:45,238 and so I don't know if it's touching or offensive. 512 00:21:45,262 --> 00:21:46,864 No, corpseplay is hot. 513 00:21:46,888 --> 00:21:48,408 And it's better than staying dressed 514 00:21:48,432 --> 00:21:50,340 as a lonely mechanic, right? 515 00:21:50,767 --> 00:21:53,121 Okay, observe the master. 516 00:21:53,375 --> 00:21:55,581 Previously on Avenue 5... 517 00:21:57,816 --> 00:22:00,102 No, this can't be right. 518 00:22:00,444 --> 00:22:03,089 When I drink, the demons don't sound quite so loud. 519 00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:05,258 - I'm sorry. - Yeah. 520 00:22:05,282 --> 00:22:06,885 Well, sorry just won't cut it! 521 00:22:06,910 --> 00:22:09,012 Whatever God you believe in, you better hope 522 00:22:09,036 --> 00:22:11,346 they're in a good mood. 523 00:22:11,580 --> 00:22:13,516 Billie, I found another dot. 524 00:22:13,540 --> 00:22:14,976 What? 525 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,894 A big missile heading right for us. 526 00:22:16,918 --> 00:22:18,646 I tho... I thought it was a floater. 527 00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:20,023 - It's not a floater. - What? 528 00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:21,899 Nice. These motherfuckers. 529 00:22:21,923 --> 00:22:23,651 It's like a game of poker with these guys. 530 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:25,835 - What the fuck? - All right. 531 00:22:26,220 --> 00:22:28,390 - Lucas, my man. - Wait! 532 00:22:28,430 --> 00:22:31,534 Little birdie tells me you launched a missile at us. 533 00:22:31,558 --> 00:22:33,115 Yeah, it's a big fuck off missile 534 00:22:33,140 --> 00:22:34,690 that's traveling at 600 miles per hour. 535 00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:36,414 Watch this. Well, 536 00:22:36,438 --> 00:22:38,541 you may want to turn that bad boy around, 537 00:22:38,565 --> 00:22:40,668 here's the moment, because we just found 538 00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:42,837 an asteroid full of a juicy little element 539 00:22:42,861 --> 00:22:44,464 we like to call lithium. 540 00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:46,007 Horseshit. Where is it? 541 00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:48,259 Here comes the clincher. How 'bout I tell you 542 00:22:48,283 --> 00:22:50,803 after you turn that missile around, Lucas? 543 00:22:50,827 --> 00:22:53,555 Well, I can't. There's just no override. 544 00:22:53,580 --> 00:22:55,433 Yeah, I mean, we would have installed a device, 545 00:22:55,457 --> 00:22:57,393 but uh, we're out of lithium. 546 00:22:57,417 --> 00:22:59,979 And now we go along with the ruse. 547 00:23:00,090 --> 00:23:01,564 Oh, sure. 548 00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:04,287 So the missile "can't be stopped," 549 00:23:04,382 --> 00:23:05,985 and we're "all gonna die." 550 00:23:06,009 --> 00:23:07,904 Yeah. Without the stupid... 551 00:23:07,928 --> 00:23:09,572 Were you making air quotation marks? 552 00:23:09,596 --> 00:23:11,384 - Sounded like you were. - Really? 553 00:23:11,598 --> 00:23:12,682 Yeah. 554 00:23:14,436 --> 00:23:16,230 Maybe don't... don't watch this part. 555 00:23:17,854 --> 00:23:19,999 Hey, Lucas, uh, is this for... 556 00:23:20,023 --> 00:23:21,667 Are you being for real right now? 557 00:23:21,730 --> 00:23:24,462 Yeah. Yeah, the missile is uh, it's unstoppable, 558 00:23:24,486 --> 00:23:26,547 and it will detonate on impact 559 00:23:26,571 --> 00:23:29,842 and annihilate every single molecule of the ship. 560 00:23:29,866 --> 00:23:31,177 Oh. 561 00:23:31,201 --> 00:23:32,804 So, how about you just give me the location 562 00:23:32,828 --> 00:23:34,680 - of the asteroid? - How about this? 563 00:23:34,704 --> 00:23:37,475 I hope that that asteroid smashes into the planet 564 00:23:37,499 --> 00:23:39,515 and annihilates every single life form 565 00:23:39,540 --> 00:23:40,895 except for you, and then you live 566 00:23:40,919 --> 00:23:43,606 an additional 50 years and die of an asshole infection! 567 00:23:43,630 --> 00:23:45,650 - No, no, no. - That's what I hope! 568 00:23:45,674 --> 00:23:48,569 Lucas, Lucas, why don't we just pretend he doesn't exist. 569 00:23:48,593 --> 00:23:50,696 One of my favorite hobbies, actually. 570 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:52,115 Um, what are the coordinates 571 00:23:52,139 --> 00:23:54,770 of this miss... What the fuck did you just do? 572 00:23:56,935 --> 00:23:59,360 I had the nightmare again, Mr. Judd. 573 00:23:59,689 --> 00:24:02,150 - Same one as always. - Ryan... 574 00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:04,669 want to make a break for it? 575 00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:07,338 I was being murdered in space. 576 00:24:07,362 --> 00:24:10,800 My room, now. Frank won't be back for hours. 577 00:24:10,950 --> 00:24:12,243 Only this time, 578 00:24:12,909 --> 00:24:14,345 it wasn't a nightmare. 579 00:24:16,391 --> 00:24:17,660 It was a dream. 580 00:24:17,706 --> 00:24:20,852 I want you to lock the door and swear at me in British. 581 00:24:21,007 --> 00:24:23,474 Swear at me like I owe you money. 582 00:24:28,887 --> 00:24:31,654 Anomaly detected, Captain. 583 00:24:31,678 --> 00:24:34,323 The light. It's getting bigger. 584 00:24:34,347 --> 00:24:37,115 Captain, we have incoming. 585 00:24:37,140 --> 00:24:39,287 - What kind of incoming? - Captain, it's a missile. 586 00:24:39,311 --> 00:24:40,746 I love y... 587 00:24:45,275 --> 00:24:46,419 What is this madness? 588 00:24:46,443 --> 00:24:49,922 Oh, no! 589 00:24:50,030 --> 00:24:51,031 What? 590 00:24:52,282 --> 00:24:53,467 What just happened? 591 00:24:53,580 --> 00:24:56,805 I believe the old industry term is a "reverse Soprano." 592 00:24:56,830 --> 00:25:00,725 - They're all definitely dead. - Wow. Well, that's a wrap. 593 00:25:00,750 --> 00:25:03,436 Any chance this is, you know, just a dream sequence? 594 00:25:03,460 --> 00:25:05,229 Dedicated to those who died 595 00:25:05,253 --> 00:25:06,314 on the real Avenue 5 596 00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:07,899 in the tragic terrorist missile strike. 597 00:25:08,681 --> 00:25:10,818 Guess I don't have final cut after all. 598 00:25:12,636 --> 00:25:15,156 Oh, my God. We're all dead! 599 00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:17,783 All right, everybody, calm down, calm down. 600 00:25:17,807 --> 00:25:21,454 There is no missile. This... this is TV writers 601 00:25:21,643 --> 00:25:22,995 desperate to get an award. 602 00:25:23,020 --> 00:25:26,110 Okay, there is, in fact, a real missile. 603 00:25:26,358 --> 00:25:28,294 - And that's code for... - No, no, no code. 604 00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:30,588 That is some kind of cover up for the fact 605 00:25:30,612 --> 00:25:34,032 that there is a real missile coming for this real ship. 606 00:25:34,532 --> 00:25:35,925 Yeah, mm-hmm. 607 00:25:36,785 --> 00:25:39,675 - Fuck. I gotta go. - Goodbye, Fake Jesus. 608 00:25:39,700 --> 00:25:41,263 Don't come back in three days. 609 00:25:41,288 --> 00:25:44,352 No. No, guys. Those are just visual effects. 610 00:25:44,376 --> 00:25:46,355 I know that because I work in VFX. 611 00:25:46,380 --> 00:25:49,982 Um, I may have fucked the pooch. 612 00:25:50,006 --> 00:25:52,318 So, I just want to say I'm sorry. 613 00:25:52,342 --> 00:25:53,945 Tomorrow will be better. 614 00:25:53,969 --> 00:25:56,948 Although it does include a missile. 615 00:25:56,972 --> 00:26:01,369 No. No, no, no. Before we die, I got one thing to tell you. 616 00:26:01,393 --> 00:26:04,205 I've been fake respecting you. There are dead eel skins 617 00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:06,374 at the bottom of that tank that I have more respect for 618 00:26:06,398 --> 00:26:10,150 than you, you narcissistic little bulb of nothing. 619 00:26:10,441 --> 00:26:13,045 She was great in the negotiations, by the way. 620 00:26:13,070 --> 00:26:14,154 - Really led it. - I... 621 00:26:14,870 --> 00:26:16,020 What's the plan? 622 00:26:16,616 --> 00:26:20,179 The plan is we have to control the panic. 623 00:26:20,427 --> 00:26:22,640 Iris, in spite of what I said to you, 624 00:26:22,664 --> 00:26:24,892 I assume there is a secret police force. 625 00:26:27,085 --> 00:26:28,837 Round up the usual panickers. 626 00:26:29,546 --> 00:26:31,298 Operation Harvest is go. 627 00:26:35,927 --> 00:26:38,531 And don't shoot anybody with a crossbow. 628 00:26:38,555 --> 00:26:39,723 Unless... 629 00:26:40,890 --> 00:26:42,225 No, do what you must. 630 00:26:42,892 --> 00:26:44,578 Come on! Go! 631 00:26:46,438 --> 00:26:47,879 I haven't done anything wrong! 632 00:27:47,142 --> 00:27:51,142 Sync and corrections by emeline-whovian www.addic7ed.com